Where you find happiness

How to find happiness 

I have been through a lot in my life. Brain tumors, divorce, illness, changing of jobs, etc. The one thing though that I have thought about a lot is how do I find happiness. Too many times I have put my happiness into someone else. I get disappointed really quickly. The reason being is someone can’t make me happy. Only I can make me happy. It’s not to say that others can’t help to make someone happy.  In the end, though we have to be happy with ourselves. 

I am going through my second divorce. Thankfully it’s much different than my first. I am older and wiser and know that fighting isn’t gonna help me. I tried many times to find happiness in my marriage. Not to say that there weren’t many of wonderful times because there were MANY. Many times. The problem was I was not finding happiness within myself. 

You know those people right? The ones that are “I am going to be happy when I lose 20 pounds” then it’s gone and they are still not happy. This coming from someone who has lost 100. Or the “I am going to be happy when this or that happens” but then this or that happens and it’s another thing they have to wait to to be happy. 

Happiness comes from within. You have to be happy with who you are at the stage and time that you are in. It’s so much better to be happy that way. Yes, things can change that makes you happier. For instance, I had a job for 9 years that I did really well at. Didn’t love it though. Found myself sick a lot from stress. Then now I have a job that I LOVE and actually, look forward too. Does that help? Well yes! That can help to be happy. Happiness within though is what I am talking about. You need to take time for self-love and self-care. Just like the saying that you are a better mother if you treat yourself too. If we give all of ourselves to someone else then we lose ourselves in them. We become their mood. They are happy...we feel happy. They are sad... we feel sad. This isn’t something that we should want in life. 

I have been working on me for a long time. I have been feeling happier by the day. I give myself a lot of self-love. I do more things that I want to do. I am happy with my weight even though I could lose some pounds. I am happy with who I am. Where I am in life and what is going on. Why? Because even if I have a bad day. I am happy within. That makes that bad day so much less horrible. 

All I want for you is to look deep within yourself. Are you happy with YOU? Not your relationship, not your job, not your kids but YOU? If the answer is no I am going to tell you to give self-love to yourself. Do things for you. It’s ok! It’s good for you. And actually good for everyone else. Take that time to do your make up, wash your face, write in your journal, see a movie you want to see, talk to friends. Whatever it is that makes you within happy. Just do it! Once you are fully happy people around you will see that. You will feel better through any situation. Your bad days will be less and your good day more! What do you do to give yourself self-love? 

                    -Love, Ro

To subscribe go to the Home page and out your email in! We would love for you to be apart of our family   

Top 8 Things to save money!

8 Tips to be more frugal 

Who actually lives in their means? I would guess not many people. Those with credit card bills or those who do stuff before bills are suppose to be done. Not gonna lie, I have been there for before many many times. I haven’t had a credit card but I sure have done things before paying a bill. 

Then there is now. After moving just me and the boys I have really penny pinched every since cent. Paying bills first. Putting away everything for bills then if I have extra money then Doing something fun like getting the boys something or sending a gift to one of my boys that is living on their own, going to movies or planning a weekend get away to Lo’s house. 

I am trying to live in my means. That might be giving up a expensive bill like a car payment and just buy a car with cash. I am trying to be more frugal. Here are some ways that people can be more frugal and live more in their means. No matter what that is. Mind you I like to save money. I think my super power is to find great deals. 

1. Coupon. There are so many sites that you can even coupon online. Why not? If you save money you can use it somewhere else. Or even buy more stuff that you needed depending on what you want. 
2. Check your cell phone plan. Make sure it’s the best one for you or your family. They are always willing to help. 
3. Get Netflix or Hulu or even both. It’s cheaper than cable! And so many fun things to watch! 
4. Plan out meals. I have saved so much money by planning out meals. I live in a rural area . I need to make sure I have say ranch dressing or I am paying 6 dollars for it. 
5. If you know someone who cuts hair that is a friend. Have them do it. I cut my kids hair this week. And my friend trimmed mine. Money saved
6. Make sure you have a full load before you wash your clothes. Then make sure you put it in the dryer or a hanging dryer. I know I have once or twice ran the washer twice bec I forgot about it 
7. Don’t play the lotto. The odds are against you. I admit I have done it too but now don’t even ask for the ticket. Money wasted 
8. Look on Craigslist for furniture, baby items etc. You can find a lot of slightly used stuff that way. 

These are just a couple of things. There are many, many more. Tell me one thing that I could use to be more frugal. I would love to know! 

                    Love, Ro

To subscribe go to the home screen and put your email in! Thank you! 

Epic Fail

Have you ever had one of those days? You know....one of THOSE days where it seems that everything just isn't in your favor. Like God was sitting there thinking today would be the day that you had to really keep a smile on your face to get through it. Its called an Epic Fail day. I haven't had one in a long time but it's those days where it starts out with a stubbed toe or the alarm didn't go off kind of day. I have had those before. Where everything just didn't quite go as planned. Actually, it just didn't really go at all. I have had those days before. Here was one of mine.

Woke up and stubbed my pinky toe on the side of the dresser. Howled for about 10 minutes jumping around while trying to wake up kids so they didn't miss the bus.

Burnt Breakfast because you were also trying to do the load that you thought you started the night before but somehow never started.

Get to work just to slip on ice on the way in. Another pinky toe done for the day. You have no more pinky toes to go at least so that's a good thing.

The one person you didn't want to see comes on that day of course because its the ONE day you decide its fine I will go all natural with no make up that day.

Come home from work to make a meal planned out just to find out the kids ate part of it before you even got home so now you have to come up with something else and all you want to do is order pizza but you live in a small town so they dont deliver.

You decide after making a dinner that you are just going to take a shower to chill and get in and within 1 min it's cold because someone used the hot water before you.

Yep, that is one of those epic fail days. Luckily I haven't had one in forever and KNOCK ON WOOD I won't in forever too. I have had those days before where it just seems like everything is not going well. I have learned to laugh through those days. You have to otherwise you are just gonna get mad. I have learned that just drive and get that pizza and wear steel-toed boots or something to bed that day haha. We all have those days though right? Just remember it can't keep on going on like that. The sun will come out and you won't be the donkey from Winnie the Pooh with a cloud over its head. Just make the most of each day even if you have to lay on the ground, stomp your feet and give up for a minute or two just as long as you get back up and slay the rest of the day. I hope for all of you that you don't have an epic fail day though. We got this!
                                                                     Love , Ro

5 reasons to NOT use the Coffee Drive Thru

So I’m not sure the traffic dynamics of why sometimes the coffee drive-thru line varies so greatly but some mornings being trapped in the procession of pre-coffee drudgery is just not a choice. On one of these days, I decided to walk in. I’m not sure why that doesn’t ever seem to be an option in the morning, most likely I’m just not thinking properly yet. Well on one of these mornings I walked in and ordered, face to face. And I realized we should try this more.
Top 5 reasons to not use the Starbucks drive through:
1. These people are already caffeinated (or don’t need it) they are well into their day and are lovely people to have as your first non-family member interaction of the day
2. They smile at you and ask your name.  That maybe the first smile you have seen all day and they are asking me questions about myself, they care (even if it’s just to write it on my cup)
3. More human interaction, in this technical day and age we communicate with each other more and more by texts and emails, phone calls and speakers in drive throughs. There are studies that show you live longer the more you interact with the other humans you interact with daily.
4. It takes less time (mostly). If someone’s egg bites are taking forever it doesn’t require them moving for you to get your venti caffeine bomb.
5.  Your saving the environment and your health. Whilst contemplating the vanity play in front of you, You aren’t smelling exhaust, idling, wasting gas, you can use a reusable cup, you aren't sitting more (true killer-more studies).
So next time walk into your coffee shop in the morning rush, see if you like it, it might be something you’re missing out on.

                                 

In case you are like me and actually, want to read one of the studies:
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/06/12/well/live/having-friends-is-good-for-you.html

https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/expert-answers/sitting/faq-20058005

-Lo

Moving My Pros and Cons

Who likes Moving? If you raise your hand right now I am going to have to assume you are insane-ha! I recently just moved and I am going to say that it was one of the not best days of my life. Who really likes to move? I don't want to lift heavy things on purpose! I did, however, try to make a good day out of it so I didn't go insane. I decided that I would unpack each box as it came into the house. So by the end of two days, I would have some semblance of a home. I was thankful for my boys for helping me. Thank goodness I have strong adult children.

There are definitely pros and cons of moving. Here are some of my pros. You get to go through all your stuff again. Find stuff that you haven't seen in it feels like a million years. Another Pro is you get to decorate again and in a different style as the time before. Hey, why not? Who loves to be the same each time. Gosh, I don't see THAT many pros on moving but I am trying here. I do love setting up stuff and finding places for things.

Cons of moving are ....you have to move. Man, I hate moving day. The con is also maybe you don't have a place for everything. I have 4 boxes that never got unpacked because they were things that really are storage for the future. I did, however, find some of my kids' baptismal outfits. I mean I am not gonna find a place for that until they are old enough and have their own homes and children.


I do love making an empty place a home. That is something that I enjoy. So PRO! I love being able to think about what should be wear to make me happy. This time if it didn't make me happy I didn't even put it in the house. Why bother right?  And because of that, I find that I have a home that is not cluttered with junk anymore. Man talk about tidying up with Marie Kondo. Oh, side note, the internet guy better come soon so I can watch her episodes and not have to hot spot from my phone to write this blog -ha.

I am thankful in the end that I was able to move to a place that had an amazing view. I love this perfect little home for me and my kids. It is somewhere I enjoy. I think my boys do too and certainly my dogs:)The reason I moved was probably a con but I am in a pro type of mood and happy I did it. Can't wait to write many more blogs from my little section of the world. See you soon guys.

                                                                                        Love, Ro

Escape Game (don't call CPS)

Played a new game with the kids today, I came up with it out of necessity. Mommy needed it.

My youngest named it “escape”

Now before you call CPS thinking I locked the kids in a room or a closet or ya know a little cupboard under the stairs...or outside ...

No...

I needed to go to Walmart on the way home from picking up the little darlings from school.  Now as any mother knows I was met with great consternation from the little darlings. So, I used my think smarter brain and said “ guys, I don’t wanna go either (and heck no I ’m not going all the way home to drop you off first then going back, I question how spoiled they are at that request) so we are gonna play a game! Can we get out of Walmart in let’s say 20 minutes?

The youngest actually named the game Escape Walmart (I think he will be a fine human being). There were many questions “but wait what if the line is too long?” Asked the youngest, “that’s the luck part” says the oldest. I’m raising fully aware adults here! Yes! We walk in, the clock starts on the first (not the second door). The kids run (together, once again don’t call CPS) for the bunny food, all 20 pounds of it. I rush for the food items. Both children come running towards me as I place the bottle of wine in the cart (so joking! It’s the last item for dinner of course) they cannot carry the bunny food alone, its pretty comical and I'm gonna say a sibling team building exercise. We rush to a check out stand (no self-checkout cause of the wine- I mean tortillas) and.... a lovely Walmart Employee approaches, “ I can check you our she says “ ....” oh we have alcohol (in the shape of a tortilla) I say... no problem she says And uses her handheld wand of all things good and lovely and checks us out! Even printing the receipt from her hip like a Walmart old west superstar! I thank her profusely as we are in a race (to-escape Walmart) and we run to those last doors making sure to not run over or hinder any other living creatures right to do the same and .... you cannot wait for our time?....take a guess....??

11 min 23 sec! I warned the children we may never be able to beat that!

And I guarantee when I need dinner and have two unwilling participants in grocery shopping we will try!

-Lo

Is a Step Mom a Real Mom?

Is a Step-Mom a Real Mom? To be honest I say YES! And if you feel you aren't and you are a stepmom then you have to STEP it up! In my early twenties, I had two children. I always wanted more. Four to be exact but my body thought otherwise and they had to tie my tubes. Through a lot of circumstances in my life, I met someone who had two more children after my divorce. These boys also became my whole heart and soul. They became mine as much as their biological parents to me. I loved them and helped them like I did my own. Soon after marriage, they were officially mine too but in reality, I thought they were also my boys before that ever even happened. I was a mother of 4. I was a true Step-Mom. I actually hated that word because it sounds like the wicked step-mom from Cinderella. I would like to be called the "my other mom" is just jives with me better.

So through the years, the four kids ended up being brothers. They thankfully never fought. We were very lucky for sure.  All the kids were treated the same, as same as you can with 4 different personalities. I didn't and still don't see them any different. I would give my life to any of them if need be. These are my children. I know that they each have other parents that are great parents to them but I feel like children can be loved more.

If you are a Stepparent. Please STEP up because that is what it is all about. I have seen far too many step parents treat those children worse. I feel that you are truly hurting that child. Is it their fault the parents are divorced and you are in the picture now....no! So do what's right for the kids. Be there through their birthdays and Graduations and every event and day in between. Be there when they cry or when they have the utmost happiest event in their life. Just BE THERE. That's all you have to do. A child or eventually an adult just needs to know you are there for them and that is what I plan on doing my whole life.

My original two before I was blessed with my next two are soon to have a Step-Mom. I am so thankful for her because she treats my/her kids with grace and helps their father be even a better father. Its those ppl we all should be grateful for. No one wants to say no to more love to their children.

So in ending. To me, I am not a Step-Mom. I am just a Mom to four capable, smart, funny, adventurous children/adults and I will forever love them no matter what happens in life. Its a love that is pure and a love that will never change. I love you boys! You four are my heart! When you look at the pictures you can't tell there are any "steps" in there because they are just brothers!
                                                                                                     Love, Ro

If you want to Subscribe to this blog and get all our posts sent to your email just go to the Home page and type in your email under Subscribe. Thanks!