Is a Step Mom a Real Mom?

Is a Step-Mom a Real Mom? To be honest I say YES! And if you feel you aren't and you are a stepmom then you have to STEP it up! In my early twenties, I had two children. I always wanted more. Four to be exact but my body thought otherwise and they had to tie my tubes. Through a lot of circumstances in my life, I met someone who had two more children after my divorce. These boys also became my whole heart and soul. They became mine as much as their biological parents to me. I loved them and helped them like I did my own. Soon after marriage, they were officially mine too but in reality, I thought they were also my boys before that ever even happened. I was a mother of 4. I was a true Step-Mom. I actually hated that word because it sounds like the wicked step-mom from Cinderella. I would like to be called the "my other mom" is just jives with me better.

So through the years, the four kids ended up being brothers. They thankfully never fought. We were very lucky for sure.  All the kids were treated the same, as same as you can with 4 different personalities. I didn't and still don't see them any different. I would give my life to any of them if need be. These are my children. I know that they each have other parents that are great parents to them but I feel like children can be loved more.

If you are a Stepparent. Please STEP up because that is what it is all about. I have seen far too many step parents treat those children worse. I feel that you are truly hurting that child. Is it their fault the parents are divorced and you are in the picture now....no! So do what's right for the kids. Be there through their birthdays and Graduations and every event and day in between. Be there when they cry or when they have the utmost happiest event in their life. Just BE THERE. That's all you have to do. A child or eventually an adult just needs to know you are there for them and that is what I plan on doing my whole life.

My original two before I was blessed with my next two are soon to have a Step-Mom. I am so thankful for her because she treats my/her kids with grace and helps their father be even a better father. Its those ppl we all should be grateful for. No one wants to say no to more love to their children.

So in ending. To me, I am not a Step-Mom. I am just a Mom to four capable, smart, funny, adventurous children/adults and I will forever love them no matter what happens in life. Its a love that is pure and a love that will never change. I love you boys! You four are my heart! When you look at the pictures you can't tell there are any "steps" in there because they are just brothers!
                                                                                                     Love, Ro

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Sneak Peek!

Want a sneak peek? of what is in my purse at this very moment.....

my wallet
my keys (kinda amazing they are where they should be)
tic tac gum
an Epi-pen (generic)
a bottle of L-theanine
work keys
a loose bottle of lemon essential oil ( not sure if it didn't fit in my oil bag, or I was in a hurry?)
my oils bag (currently containing: past tense roller ball, holiday peace, bergamot, cedarwood, peppermint and lavender)
a box cutter (this actually made it into a large arena at the bottom of my purse--oops!--they guy checking purses was way more concerned about my oils)
burts bees chapstick
two loose dollars (score!)
two hair ties
15 cents, loose
an I- phone fan that plugs in
a child's tooth
floss
three lip glosses
two tampons
a marble


While I like to blame children for my purse being a mess I'd say less than a quarter is from them.....the random fun stuff that makes me smile is from them.  I choose to love I can pull out something someone may need, floss? sure....hoping to never need the Epi-pen but I have it.
My purse is actually pretty small so isn't that bad...did you notice what it's missing that would be helpful? I know I'm lacking this but never think of it until I need it again...a pen! lol     -Lo



I am going to be honest but I went to a small, small purse because with 4 kids and a husband that has sunglasses and a wallet everything was being put in my purse. Love, Ro

You're better than me

Let's just get that out of the way, you're better than me.  I can say that with absolute certainty, YOU reading this...... are better than me.  Can we just end there? Can you just be content in knowing you are better than me?  No? you need to know why?  to actually make you accept that you are better, to give you some satisfaction and pride you need to know why and be able to think that over. Ok, alright...you may run a faster mile than me, have better ankles, be a better mom, a better cook, a better friend, a better sister.  More than likely I'm better at some things about being a sister and way worse at some.  I can cook and bake and yet there are so many better than me and yet.... I'm better than many.  Your smile may be better than mine and I may give a better hug.... the point is we cannot compare only what people are good at and us.  This mom makes better lunches for her kid, this mom always has the kid's hair so cute, this mom makes friends with everyone.  yet that's not the same mom, why do we think we need to be the best of everyone?  Theodore Roosevelt said "comparison is the thief of joy"  let's stop stealing our own joy, know we are the best at some things, we are the best at knowing our kids, don't let comparison steal our joy. -Lo


I think we all have things we are good at and I am happy when someone is better than me at stuff because I can easily learn from them. Love, Ro

long car rides with kids

 When we are on a long car ride it is very regular for us to play 20 questions.  I guess it is more common when my sister is in the car with my kids and I....as you need another adult to help pay attention while I am driving.  Now we don't play this game typically I suppose, we don't count questions we just keep going and the one who guesses doesn't go next we go in clockwise order (I mentioned we are in a car and I'd rather not have any extra arguments.)  Also, we have some other adoptions that just make it more fun and make us laugh.  Somehow "mythological animals" became an option.  So ...animal, vegetable, or mineral? animal? mythical or real?  My eight year old has stumped us with a jack-a-lope.   The funniest conversations have ensured! What a great way to use Greek mythology and antiquated knowledge for instance, "Is it bigger than a breadbox?" my children, of course, have no clue what a breadbox is, so it's fun to try and explain what one is and why people had one and just how big one may be.    My children can now answer "is the mythological creature humanoid?" Thanks to my sister.   This is a game that has created many laughs and lots of thinking and I'm sure will be one of the things they remember from childhood which warms my heart (and lessens car arguments and the number of "how long till we are there's?" and them wanting a screen of some sort, WIN!) what game do you play as a family and what adaptations have you made organically while playing?
-Lo

I love this so much and can totally see you and your sister doing this to them. We do twenty questions a lot also just to learn more about our teens. When hubby and I got together we played this a lot. Great way of finding out about each other. And laughing....a lot! Love , Ro

                                               

Have to VS Get to

Is this how your day starts? mental notes, I have to get the kids to school, have to prepare for two meetings and finish a report at work, then I have to pick up the dry cleaning (ok I just threw that in cause it makes me laugh....I don't have dry cleaning), then I have to pick up the kids from school, make dinner, finish (6) loads of laundry, read that book club book, make the children lunches, make them brush their teeth and get them in bed on time because they both have field trips tomorrow (crap they needed sack lunches.....).  I have so much to do! constantly! We all do, drink the 120 ounces of water we need, make homemade meals, send balanced food for lunches, work, get exercise the list never ends really.  Are we stressing ourselves out more by how we talk to ourselves?  Look at your list again, what if we say we "get to" instead of "have to"?
I get to take my kids to school (this is the start of their day, I get to be sweet, encouraging or embarrassing as necessary)
I get to work, I have a job that helps pay the bills, it may come up short but I have it and most days it brings me joy, how lucky am I?
I get to pick up the kids from school, I get to ask them about their day and hear the best stories
I get to make dinner, I get to chose what I offer to go in their mouths to nourish their heart, their brain, and their bodies. And yes they get to complain about what is offered.
I get to have an excuse to sit down and fold laundry
I get to read a book that was recommended by a friend and I get to discuss the said book with friends
I get to teach the kids that routines like brushing teeth are important in life and I get to call them out on dragon breath if they don't ( I can only say that to one of mine the other is too sensitive)
I get to hear about those field trips...just recently " We got lost in a corn maze it was the best experience of my life"
I get to exercise, thank goodness I have the ability.
I get to do life, I get to experience busyness and calm.
Try changing " I have to" to "I get to"  I guarantee it feels so much better to think of the all the things you get to do versus have to do.                             -Lo



This is such a great way of thinking for sure! I get to make beef stew for a family dinner.:) Love, Ro

Parenting Teens

I have four teenagers. Well had four teenagers to be specific. Right now all four of my kids are between the ages of 18-20. I remember very vividly though when I had a 9th, 10th, 11th and 12th grader all at the same time. It was stressful and joyful all at the same time. Here are some of the tips that I think are very important in raising a teenager. Was I perfect all the time? Probably not. I do think though that if you can commit to these it really helps.

Family Time. This is a huge one. With our busy lives and having four teenagers at the same time all in sports or activities, it was hard to have family time. We made it happen though. One huge thing we did was always eat dinner together as a family, not in front of the television. This really helped because we were able to know more of what was going on in their days, what was going on in school and even some tattling on each other (which was beneficial to us sometimes ha). It also helped to connect us all together. As you can imagine our table was pretty full especially if grandma or any of their friends were there for dinner. It would get LOUD sometimes but its something I think my kids will always remember and hopefully do for their families.

Showing Affection. I do this a lot. My teens are pretty affectionate too because of it. We are huggers for sure. I hug all my kids almost daily. I think its good for them. Sometimes because they are like "really mom?" I just hug a little longer till they sigh and just hug back. I think secretly they are happy that someone is loving on them daily. My husband is pretty good about that too. He is more of the wrestler with them but they love that too. We always say I love you to them when they leave the house or before they go to bed. Its important that they know through a huge growing time in their lives that their parents always love them. We do this so much that it doesn't become a problem when they are with their friends because it's so normal to them.

My oldest hugging me

Jackson and Josh Hugging

Speaking of friends. We get to know their friends and family. Might sound strict but they are not allowed at friends houses that we don't know. With it being a small town of 250 people that isn't the hardest thing. IF we feel iffy about their friends then we have them bring them to our house instead of them going to theirs. Might seem a little more to do but definitely better, in the long run, to know what they are up too.

Have rules and consequences. I think you have to be pretty clear about what you expect but also have to be reasonable too. We were pretty relaxed on some things and very strict on others. Our kids knew what we would do vs what we wouldn't do. Like if they wanted a friend to spend the night they weren't allowed to ask us in front of the friend so we can make up our mind without being pushed to do it because their friend was standing there. Our kids weren't allowed to go to parties that had drinking in it. The parent had to be there and it had to be a person who we knew and trusted if they were going to a social gathering. Soon our kids wouldn't even ask because they knew who we trusted or maybe didn't feel comfortable with. Just be clear on what the rules were so its easier on the teenager to know what they can and can't do. We had definite consequences also. For instance, maybe we would say that they couldn't do something and if they did that this or that would happen. We would follow through with it also. So they knew that if they did this or that what they would be having to deal with later.

only these two would pick the smallest pumpkins :)

Having teenagers can be a trying time for sure. Especially when you have four at once. I will say though I was scared of this phase in life. It could be rough at some small increments of it but mainly it went really well. I think that I will miss this phase actually. This was a phase where the teens really speak their mind more. They are so funny at this age. They are learning about themselves and learning about who they are becoming. It's amazing to watch! This definitely was one of my favorite stages of my kids' lives. Now I am watching them grow into adults. They don't have restrictions they had before. All the decisions are theirs to have now. It's nice to see them still showing affection and missing family time. They all have good friends and are seeing now more of WHY we did what we did as they were growing up. This next phase of life is going to be another good one. I can't wait to see.                                                                       Love, Ro

*sometimes I wonder why I wanted more and reading this makes me know why -Lo

Put Your Sh*t on the Fridge!

Ok parents, go look at your fridge! How many little tokens of your amazing children reside on that vertical surface? cute little drawings? Yes, Timmy knows we have fingers and he calls them phalanges! so what if he only drew three on each hand,  so adorable.  Or the photo of that smile with the missing tooth and the one next to it coming in at an odd angle? could they be any cuter and so precocious to lose their teeth just when they couldn't get any cuter?  We put these accomplishments on our fridge, in the heart of the home to show our children we are proud of them.  And we are so proud and we want them to be proud of themselves.
Now go look again, what is up there that is yours? a bill? a reminder? the grocery list? are these things you are proud of?  Why don't we put OUR sh*t on the fridge?  Every year I get a contract to sign for a year of employment and it hit me....why don't I put THAT on the fridge? hey, I have a job that pays for this house and the food in this fridge for another year! (school year not the calendar year, that's always the case if you are talking to a teacher....The new year is in August, not January) I'm more proud of that than my DMV renewal.  I want to teach my kids to be proud of themselves and grateful for what they have, so I'm gonna lead by example, I'm gonna put my sh*t on the fridge! My contract (yah folded so it doesn't announce my teacher pay to anyone who comes over, I'll redact that info).  My school photos, yes teachers get them EVERY year. too...yay...and that kind thank you note or word of encouragement someone sent me, I'm gonna put that up there too!  We are parents, and we are real people, and we teach our children by example, let's show them to still be proud as an adult, to appreciate what we have, now go buy some extra magnets and put your sh*t on the fridge!

-Lo

What a good thought. Sometimes I freak out if anything is on my fridge but you know what! I am going to put stuff up now! Love, Ro

5 things I said I would never do as a parent

I remember when I was pregnant with my first child Casey I had a long conversation with my mother about what I will never do with my children. I remember vividly her laughing and just telling me to wait and see. I was thinking in my young 22-year-old brain that there was NO WAY I would ever do these things.

Here are the 5 things I said I would never do....and did with funny stories to go along with each. They are all VERY, VERY true so don't hold it against me moms!

 1. Lick my finger and wipe my child's face.

 I will NEVER do this right? Uhm! DAY ONE when my child was born he had something on his face and I did that. DAY ONE PEOPLE! I knew at the moment I would really be doomed! Her was the cutest, most precious little baby. I loved him so much the second I saw him. I knew that I would do anything to keep him safe and apparently clean too bec yes I licked my finger to remove a piece of fuzz from his little tiny forehead.

This little face got it that day lol

2. Buy my kids loud toys.

 I actually bought those all the time. I thought it would really bother me but it actually didn't. I even bought a little full drum set for the kids to play on. I thought it was the cutest thing ever. My family would send loud toys too and it never really bothered me thankfully. I still did it when I said I wouldn't.

 3. Money as a reward.

 I have done this so many times when my kids were little. I look back and regret half of it and the other half truly I don't even care that I did it. I remember when my ex-husband was in Iraq and I had a 2 and 4-year old by myself that I offered them money! I seriously remember being so tired because I wasn't feeling well. I pulled them into the bed and had them lay down with me. I told them whoever fell asleep first I would give them a whole dollar to buy ice cream from the ice cream truck. They both would squeeze their eyes so tight until they both fell asleep. I even would say things like one seemed more asleep than the other to keep their eyes shut. When they would wake up and I was finally rested I gave them both a dollar. I was going to get them ice cream anyways but this worked to my advantage. Mom win? I say Mom win!

These two each got their dollar

 4. Boost on Social Media about my kids

Are you kidding me? What was my young mom mind thinking? I think I was thinking we didn't really have that much social media to boost about my kids. My personal Instagram is all about my family and children. I am sure I post weekly if not many times a week about my kids on Facebook! I love all four of my kids and I love showing them off. I like them seeing also how proud I am of them besides just telling them a million times a day. I know my kids are normal kids who have their faults and also their proud moments. Here are some examples. Or at least one of each kid so your eyes don't get sore.

Jackson and his amazing girlfriend

Casey being awesome

Joshua at a Museum in Sweden

Jason my High School Football Player

5. Tell my kids "because I said so"

 YES!!!! Every parent is bound to say this. Now that I am a parent I totally understand why! I can even tell you why now that my kids are all technically adults. Its because sometimes you don't really have a reason of why you are saying no. Its because you have a feeling or just intuition of why they shouldn't or should be doing something. It is also a good thing to say so they don't rebuttal your no. Let's be real. Teenagers can be quick with rebuttals. Especially my kids. Let me tell you one thing that has really worked for me besides just because I said so. Say because I love you. I mean what are they going to say to that. Makes a harder rebuttal!

 So, basically the five things I told my mom I would never do, I did. It's interesting what I thought would be a reality before I became a parent to what actually happened once I did. What are some things that you said you would never do? Or your parents did that drove you crazy? Leave a comment and tell me. I would love to know.                                  Love, Ro

                                                 

Mom's Exciting Friday Night!

I hesitate to write this post as I'm afraid a mom may read it and think this is how mom life should be.  I guarantee it is not how it SHOULD be and probably not how it is for most, but for me......this is my super exciting Friday night plans.  Are you ready?
I get to snake, not one but two toilets.  Have you ever snaked a toilet? If not, don't put it on your list, I don't feel empowered or womanly after it....just gross and like I need to take three showers.  Just for a quick explanation, please don't use these as directions....watch a YouTube video, if nothing else it will give you hope that your hard work will pay off.  Then you stick the plastic J shaped thing in the toilet, so the wire/coil doesn't scratch the porcelain. Now that it is in the position you shove the wire/coil thing all the way into the toilet until the handle is flush with the plastic (toilet puns! still doesn't make it fun) and can be way harder than it seems, you are pushing a wire coil through some twists and  turns just look at the side of the toilet if you want proof.  Now, you spin the handle, a little clockwise, then some counterclockwise,  and then, fingers crossed that may have done it,  slowly remove the wire, this is where you realize your hands will not stay clean because you will have to put your hand on that coil at some point, and we know where it has been.  Hopefully for you (read me), the toilet clogged on a little tinkle with one square of toilet paper, not likely, toilets plug when there is too much....just make a mental picture... so you are pulling out the wire, it may still be spinning some and if you are super lucky, it won't make an erratic move and splash you....right above your upper lip.....I'm not always lucky.  Finally, you flush the toilet! did it work? Yay if so! If not you are freaked out, standing there as the toilet comes precipitously close to overflowing.  Sound fun? it's even less fun than it sounds and I snaked two toilets and am at a 50% success rate tonight, I think I'll call that a win!

The next fun for my Friday? Oh did you already forget this is my exciting jam-packed Friday night? Next, I get to play a game! It's called What is That Smell? and if I win ??? my prize is the smell goes away, come to think of it that was the prize on my toilet snaking game too, I sense a trend...
I think it may be the garbage disposal, yet I have cleaned it out pretty good.  Most likely, the darlings threw something away, in the trash under the sink (who else keeps their trash under the sink??? ) and misjudged their aim (they are still learning after all and their visual perception skills are still building, except I'm not sure they are using visual skills at all when they throw stuff away and they often...miss) and they missed and whatever it is, that has been sitting there is smelling up the sink area.
I also have about 6 loads of laundry to wash and 9 to fold (yes, I know you can do the math and figure out that I have 3 loads just sitting on my couch as I sit on the floor to type this.) wow, with the laundry added to my Friday night there definitely is a smelly theme to it.   I am going to reward myself because I'm all about positive reinforcement (especially when it's about me) with a nice long shower, maybe with really hot water to erase the toilet images from my head.  Please comment below if I could add any more fun to my Friday! or if you hate unloading the dishwasher as much as I do...
-Lo

** Then my Friday night is leaving all the laundry till tomorrow because its football season and every Friday is a football game. Did I mention I had to take a nap after work just to be peppy enough to work the Booster trailer? How about we do laundry together? You wash and I will fold! Love, Ro

Mother 911

My daughter, who is in sixth grade, came home from school having learned more about the attacks on 9/11 then she ever had.  We had a discussion based on things she said they had viewed and spoken about at school.  I love that she came home and further discussed it with me.    What I wasn't ready for were questions the eight-year-old had.  He is sensitive about people and animals being harmed and hearing some of the things his sister had said really caused some turmoil in him.  Of course, all of this was just while driving home from picking them up at school (I think some of these mundane, everyday moments are the ones we need to stay present for).  I saw the hurt in his face and could feel some anger building in him as we spoke further.  I stopped and said " yes there are some terrible people and some people do terrible things AND I heard a quote from Mr. Rodgers once, upon seeing some truly scary things his mother had said look for the helpers, there are always helpers.  So have you guys ever heard about the boat evacuation that happened after the attacks, I saw a great video online about the people who came in to help?  Let's go home and watch it, and yes I will cry.....and we will look for the helpers".  We went home and immediately pulled up the story, we talked through it (and I cried as promised) and I got to have the conversation that ALL these people chose to help, they didn't know if they were putting themselves in danger or who they were helping but they helped.  It was in fact, the video states, the largest marine evacuation of all time.   I'm so grateful this quote had been shared and I could call upon it when I needed it.   

And as mom's we all ruminate on the mistakes we make parenting, what we could have said, could have done,  should have said, should have done, let's all take the time to think of a parenting moment that made you proud.  Write it down, just for you, for you to read when you're having doubts about your parenting.  Read your parenting proudest moments and know that if you're worried about being a good parent ...you probably are.  

This is one of the moments I felt like I did what I wanted to and I was grateful for the teachable moment, for them and for me.

-LO

****just to keep it real, I also had told the children I had heard a story of an amazing service dog, we were all set to look at those videos too AND they turned out to be false, thank you Snopes for reminding us that not everything we read on the internet is true.

“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, "Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.”

― Fred Rogers


https://www.youtube.com/watch?reload=9&v=MDOrzF7B2Kg


***Mr. Roger's mom rocked! And so do you my friend! Love, Ro

Step Mom? Mom!

Hi, Its Ro. As you may already know now I have 4 children. Jackson is now 20, Casey is 19, Joshua is 18 and Jason just turned 18. I am so proud of my children and who they are becoming. What is interesting is if you ever have the chance to meet us as a family you will never know that some of my kids are actually step children (I hate that word). To me though even though they may have other moms or dads but they are all my children in my heart whether I birthed them all or not. When I met my husband I had two children and he had two. All the kids were between the ages of 8-10 years old. I am blessed to have had them all live with us even though they all go and see their other parents on vacations or summers. I have had so many instances where people find out we are a blended family and try to pick who belongs to whom. They usually never get it right. Which deep in my heart makes me happy because you can't tell who belongs to who because they all belong to us. I am glad that all of our children have many parents who love them. I am also glad that I have all four of them. To be honest, I always wanted four children but my body didn't think that was the best for me and I had to get my tubes tied after two. God knew my path well before I did and I ended up with the four that I have now. Its been ten years now as a Step-Mom ( I would rather say Mom, or other mom). I treat all my kids the same. Not once have they ever felt as if I loved one more than the other. Actually they all think that they are my favorite which I love. We are very blessed because they had always gotten along and called each other brothers and sister from the get go. I have heard of many families who are blended having a VERY rough time. We haven't had that as they were growing up and I know to feel very blessed about that. They are very protective of each other and definitely don't see each other as steps either. I think it helped that they started out as friends first and were all very close in age. All four of them are within 2 years of each other but according to their birthdays ended up a year apart in school which helped out also. I love my children. Although they are all technically adults now I will always love my babies. I am so blessed to be able to spread my love and to be there for them all. Thank you Lord for seeing my future before I did! Not being biologically related to a child doesn't make you any less of a parent. Being a real parent isn't in the DNA its in the heart.
                                                                     Love, Ro

Adulting

I am 42 years old and still sometimes don't feel like an Adult. I know, I know how can that even be possible since in less than 10 years I am sure I will be a Nana to someone. I tried talking to my kids who are now by law all adults (18,18,19,20) about when I first felt like an adult. Is it weird that I think the first time I really felt like an adult was when we bought our first expensive fridge? I remember telling my husband that we sure are adults by now! I felt like an adult when we got our first deep freezer and it was completely full. Even though it pretty much had to be with four teens. You think that I would feel more like an adult when I had my children. I think I like to feel that I have always had a little bit of child in me. I hope that is how my kids have grown up knowing that although we are strict parents that have their best interest at heart that we also can wrestle and laugh with them at a moments notice. My parents were that way. We knew the rules and how to behave but we definitely could come to them to talk and laugh. I wonder with each of my children what will be the thing that makes them feel more like an adult? For some reason it was having tons of food for all my kids and the items to place them in. That is what did it for me. I guess for someone else it might be buying a new home or even graduating from college and paying their own bills. I just laugh every time I look at that huge fridge with the extra drawers and fridge part on top. That is when I felt like an adult ha! I think its good to have our inner child always be there. To not stuff them far, far away. Its good to be an adult. Adulting can be hard sometimes though so make sure that you always take a step back and let your inner child out too. I am happy to report my inner child is still ageless.
                                                                                           Love, Ro

The art of the handwritten Thank You!

In this day and age we do almost everything quick and expect things quickly in return. I think the less we think about things the less we enjoy them. I have been immersing myself in learning about gratitude, meditation, and contentment for some time now ( I actually think I used the pregnancy of my first darling to let go of some hurts, or at least try and move forward to be the person I’d want my child to have as a mentor in life.) Expressing gratitude and being thankful for the things you do have has been well documented to increase happiness in people lives ( I’ll find some good examples to link to if you’re so inclined- and if you haven’t started a gratitude journal I highly recommend it!). This morning was a particularly rough one at work and about an hour into it a mom stopped in with coffee! Who doesn’t love coffee? ( ok who is a teacher that doesn’t love coffee- it’s a pretty safe bet!) She had bought extra coffee that morning because of a deal at the local coffee shop (not knowing who she was gonna share with! Just spreading the love! And caffeine) Of course my eyes lit up, a grateful smile appeared ( I’m guessing, it could have looked a little scary at that point-I mentioned it was a rough start to the day) and I said “oh my gosh! Thank you so much!” And I drank my coffee joyfully! In the everyday, we can be thankful AND what a joy to be able to share that with our fellow humans. Now I definitely said thank you and was a gracious recipient for the lovely blessing of caffeine when I least expected it AND I think I will write a handwritten thank you to this lovely mom who bought coffee, not even knowing it was for me, hand delivered it to me with a smile and honestly made my day! Why the hand written note? Well, writing down what you are grateful for is a therapeutic exercise in and of it self....why not share that I’m grateful with the person I’m grateful for? I’m strengthening relationships, sharing joy, free self -therapy ( doubles as art therapy if I draw something cute!) Why not try it? Take the time to hand write a thank you note this week! Neighbor took care of your animals? Someone at work that always has a smile or encouraging word? Friend that stopped by with wine just to say hi? I even made two cards so I have one handy next time!
                                                                                                        -Lo 

*** You definately are so good about this! I love the ones you do with a picture of what has happened or what was given in the Thank you! I love your heart. Love, Ro


Links:

https://ggia.berkeley.edu/practice/gratitude_journal#data-tab-evidence

https://www.health.harvard.edu/newsletter_article/in-praise-of-gratitude

Why I sent myself to time out

Have you ever had one of those days? I am sure everyone has where you just need a little peace and quiet. Normally my days are pretty good, great actually. I am a busy working mother who still wants to make sure that I get up to make a balanced breakfast and end with a balanced dinner. Are they always the healthiest? Maybe not but its balanced! On those chaotic days I think every person especially parents needs to put themselves in a time out! Go somewhere to be alone for a moment. To think. To feel. To not react to your day. Its interesting because I have even thought about taking a time out daily for myself. For my mental and emotional health. Not that my family is bad. It isn't. It may be a little hectic but each year as one more child leaves the roost it seems to get a little easier and a little harder all at the same time. Take a time out! Go someplace where you can relax. Drink your hot tea, coffee, water, wine or whatever it is that helps you to just chill for a moment. Everyone needs some time to themselves. My time out is usually in the bath tub with a bath bomb and my mineral water close by because I make it so hot my skin is red. I know when I am with Lo we tend to sit by her pool with a glass of wine and just talk. Yours might be reading by yourself with no distraction, maybe its even hiking or meditation. Whatever is your thing to relax.....try and do it once a day if possible. Give yourself that mental and emotional health that you need. Put yourself on a time out! I think if everyone did this daily we could be able to cope more of what is going on in our lives whether its kids, family, work, extra activities, or anything else that we need a small break from to make us a better person. The soul always knows what to do to heal itself. The challenge is to silence the mind.
                                                                             Love, Ro

Nice to meet you

Well hello, I’m Lo ( and at this point tempted to rhyme my entire introduction....) I am a mother of two pretty alright kids who keep me on my toes but give me reasons to smile more often than not, so I’ll keep them. I am probably the sarcastic and tangential one in this lovely pair of best friends. I’m trying to live my life as a blessing, to those I love, those I work with, those behind me in the grocery store....emphasis on “try”. I’m a work in progress but I’m still showing up for the work, some days more than others. I love photography, cooking/baking, dabble in arts, animal lover (but need less to take care of not more), I love sunshine, hiking and hugs!       -Lo