5 things I said I would never do as a parent

I remember when I was pregnant with my first child Casey I had a long conversation with my mother about what I will never do with my children. I remember vividly her laughing and just telling me to wait and see. I was thinking in my young 22-year-old brain that there was NO WAY I would ever do these things.

Here are the 5 things I said I would never do....and did with funny stories to go along with each. They are all VERY, VERY true so don't hold it against me moms!

 1. Lick my finger and wipe my child's face.

 I will NEVER do this right? Uhm! DAY ONE when my child was born he had something on his face and I did that. DAY ONE PEOPLE! I knew at the moment I would really be doomed! Her was the cutest, most precious little baby. I loved him so much the second I saw him. I knew that I would do anything to keep him safe and apparently clean too bec yes I licked my finger to remove a piece of fuzz from his little tiny forehead.

This little face got it that day lol

2. Buy my kids loud toys.

 I actually bought those all the time. I thought it would really bother me but it actually didn't. I even bought a little full drum set for the kids to play on. I thought it was the cutest thing ever. My family would send loud toys too and it never really bothered me thankfully. I still did it when I said I wouldn't.

 3. Money as a reward.

 I have done this so many times when my kids were little. I look back and regret half of it and the other half truly I don't even care that I did it. I remember when my ex-husband was in Iraq and I had a 2 and 4-year old by myself that I offered them money! I seriously remember being so tired because I wasn't feeling well. I pulled them into the bed and had them lay down with me. I told them whoever fell asleep first I would give them a whole dollar to buy ice cream from the ice cream truck. They both would squeeze their eyes so tight until they both fell asleep. I even would say things like one seemed more asleep than the other to keep their eyes shut. When they would wake up and I was finally rested I gave them both a dollar. I was going to get them ice cream anyways but this worked to my advantage. Mom win? I say Mom win!

These two each got their dollar

 4. Boost on Social Media about my kids

Are you kidding me? What was my young mom mind thinking? I think I was thinking we didn't really have that much social media to boost about my kids. My personal Instagram is all about my family and children. I am sure I post weekly if not many times a week about my kids on Facebook! I love all four of my kids and I love showing them off. I like them seeing also how proud I am of them besides just telling them a million times a day. I know my kids are normal kids who have their faults and also their proud moments. Here are some examples. Or at least one of each kid so your eyes don't get sore.

Jackson and his amazing girlfriend

Casey being awesome

Joshua at a Museum in Sweden

Jason my High School Football Player

5. Tell my kids "because I said so"

 YES!!!! Every parent is bound to say this. Now that I am a parent I totally understand why! I can even tell you why now that my kids are all technically adults. Its because sometimes you don't really have a reason of why you are saying no. Its because you have a feeling or just intuition of why they shouldn't or should be doing something. It is also a good thing to say so they don't rebuttal your no. Let's be real. Teenagers can be quick with rebuttals. Especially my kids. Let me tell you one thing that has really worked for me besides just because I said so. Say because I love you. I mean what are they going to say to that. Makes a harder rebuttal!

 So, basically the five things I told my mom I would never do, I did. It's interesting what I thought would be a reality before I became a parent to what actually happened once I did. What are some things that you said you would never do? Or your parents did that drove you crazy? Leave a comment and tell me. I would love to know.                                  Love, Ro

                                                 

Mother 911

My daughter, who is in sixth grade, came home from school having learned more about the attacks on 9/11 then she ever had.  We had a discussion based on things she said they had viewed and spoken about at school.  I love that she came home and further discussed it with me.    What I wasn't ready for were questions the eight-year-old had.  He is sensitive about people and animals being harmed and hearing some of the things his sister had said really caused some turmoil in him.  Of course, all of this was just while driving home from picking them up at school (I think some of these mundane, everyday moments are the ones we need to stay present for).  I saw the hurt in his face and could feel some anger building in him as we spoke further.  I stopped and said " yes there are some terrible people and some people do terrible things AND I heard a quote from Mr. Rodgers once, upon seeing some truly scary things his mother had said look for the helpers, there are always helpers.  So have you guys ever heard about the boat evacuation that happened after the attacks, I saw a great video online about the people who came in to help?  Let's go home and watch it, and yes I will cry.....and we will look for the helpers".  We went home and immediately pulled up the story, we talked through it (and I cried as promised) and I got to have the conversation that ALL these people chose to help, they didn't know if they were putting themselves in danger or who they were helping but they helped.  It was in fact, the video states, the largest marine evacuation of all time.   I'm so grateful this quote had been shared and I could call upon it when I needed it.   

And as mom's we all ruminate on the mistakes we make parenting, what we could have said, could have done,  should have said, should have done, let's all take the time to think of a parenting moment that made you proud.  Write it down, just for you, for you to read when you're having doubts about your parenting.  Read your parenting proudest moments and know that if you're worried about being a good parent ...you probably are.  

This is one of the moments I felt like I did what I wanted to and I was grateful for the teachable moment, for them and for me.

-LO

****just to keep it real, I also had told the children I had heard a story of an amazing service dog, we were all set to look at those videos too AND they turned out to be false, thank you Snopes for reminding us that not everything we read on the internet is true.

“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, "Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.”

― Fred Rogers


https://www.youtube.com/watch?reload=9&v=MDOrzF7B2Kg


***Mr. Roger's mom rocked! And so do you my friend! Love, Ro

Step Mom? Mom!

Hi, Its Ro. As you may already know now I have 4 children. Jackson is now 20, Casey is 19, Joshua is 18 and Jason just turned 18. I am so proud of my children and who they are becoming. What is interesting is if you ever have the chance to meet us as a family you will never know that some of my kids are actually step children (I hate that word). To me though even though they may have other moms or dads but they are all my children in my heart whether I birthed them all or not. When I met my husband I had two children and he had two. All the kids were between the ages of 8-10 years old. I am blessed to have had them all live with us even though they all go and see their other parents on vacations or summers. I have had so many instances where people find out we are a blended family and try to pick who belongs to whom. They usually never get it right. Which deep in my heart makes me happy because you can't tell who belongs to who because they all belong to us. I am glad that all of our children have many parents who love them. I am also glad that I have all four of them. To be honest, I always wanted four children but my body didn't think that was the best for me and I had to get my tubes tied after two. God knew my path well before I did and I ended up with the four that I have now. Its been ten years now as a Step-Mom ( I would rather say Mom, or other mom). I treat all my kids the same. Not once have they ever felt as if I loved one more than the other. Actually they all think that they are my favorite which I love. We are very blessed because they had always gotten along and called each other brothers and sister from the get go. I have heard of many families who are blended having a VERY rough time. We haven't had that as they were growing up and I know to feel very blessed about that. They are very protective of each other and definitely don't see each other as steps either. I think it helped that they started out as friends first and were all very close in age. All four of them are within 2 years of each other but according to their birthdays ended up a year apart in school which helped out also. I love my children. Although they are all technically adults now I will always love my babies. I am so blessed to be able to spread my love and to be there for them all. Thank you Lord for seeing my future before I did! Not being biologically related to a child doesn't make you any less of a parent. Being a real parent isn't in the DNA its in the heart.
                                                                     Love, Ro