Family Time. This is a huge one. With our busy lives and having four teenagers at the same time all in sports or activities, it was hard to have family time. We made it happen though. One huge thing we did was always eat dinner together as a family, not in front of the television. This really helped because we were able to know more of what was going on in their days, what was going on in school and even some tattling on each other (which was beneficial to us sometimes ha). It also helped to connect us all together. As you can imagine our table was pretty full especially if grandma or any of their friends were there for dinner. It would get LOUD sometimes but its something I think my kids will always remember and hopefully do for their families.
Showing Affection. I do this a lot. My teens are pretty affectionate too because of it. We are huggers for sure. I hug all my kids almost daily. I think its good for them. Sometimes because they are like "really mom?" I just hug a little longer till they sigh and just hug back. I think secretly they are happy that someone is loving on them daily. My husband is pretty good about that too. He is more of the wrestler with them but they love that too. We always say I love you to them when they leave the house or before they go to bed. Its important that they know through a huge growing time in their lives that their parents always love them. We do this so much that it doesn't become a problem when they are with their friends because it's so normal to them.
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| My oldest hugging me |
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| Jackson and Josh Hugging |
Speaking of friends. We get to know their friends and family. Might sound strict but they are not allowed at friends houses that we don't know. With it being a small town of 250 people that isn't the hardest thing. IF we feel iffy about their friends then we have them bring them to our house instead of them going to theirs. Might seem a little more to do but definitely better, in the long run, to know what they are up too.
Have rules and consequences. I think you have to be pretty clear about what you expect but also have to be reasonable too. We were pretty relaxed on some things and very strict on others. Our kids knew what we would do vs what we wouldn't do. Like if they wanted a friend to spend the night they weren't allowed to ask us in front of the friend so we can make up our mind without being pushed to do it because their friend was standing there. Our kids weren't allowed to go to parties that had drinking in it. The parent had to be there and it had to be a person who we knew and trusted if they were going to a social gathering. Soon our kids wouldn't even ask because they knew who we trusted or maybe didn't feel comfortable with. Just be clear on what the rules were so its easier on the teenager to know what they can and can't do. We had definite consequences also. For instance, maybe we would say that they couldn't do something and if they did that this or that would happen. We would follow through with it also. So they knew that if they did this or that what they would be having to deal with later.
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| only these two would pick the smallest pumpkins :) |
Having teenagers can be a trying time for sure. Especially when you have four at once. I will say though I was scared of this phase in life. It could be rough at some small increments of it but mainly it went really well. I think that I will miss this phase actually. This was a phase where the teens really speak their mind more. They are so funny at this age. They are learning about themselves and learning about who they are becoming. It's amazing to watch! This definitely was one of my favorite stages of my kids' lives. Now I am watching them grow into adults. They don't have restrictions they had before. All the decisions are theirs to have now. It's nice to see them still showing affection and missing family time. They all have good friends and are seeing now more of WHY we did what we did as they were growing up. This next phase of life is going to be another good one. I can't wait to see. Love, Ro
*sometimes I wonder why I wanted more and reading this makes me know why -Lo
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