Death Next Door

My next door neighbor died today, we weren't close in the sense you are with your family or friends AND I lived next to him for seven and a half years.  He was kind to my children and occasionally bought them gifts at holidays.  He sprayed the weeds in the cracks of my driveway for me, he saw us cutting flowers in the front yard (to take as a birthday gift) and invited us to his backyard for beautiful roses to add to the bouquet.  He was neighborly.  He helped shape how I want to be as a neighbor.  We live in these houses just feet from each other, we wave hello to some, we even talk to some.  Do we connect? Do we show we care?  I guess I should ask do we care?  I know some neighbors I wouldn't recognize in the line behind me at Costco, others I know their names, some of their story and can greet their dogs by name.  My neighborhood has an older set than us, my kids don't know any children from the area and yet I know children exist.  Come, to think of it, all the neighbors I know well are because they reached out to us, introduced themselves, checked up, offered help.  I have been helped numerous times by these friends by geography. Just a few times that come to mind are, one day, I arrived home and the pool was overflowing, I had no idea where my water shut off was so I ran to the neighbors for help (I still can not believe that tiny spigot turns off the water for the whole house!)  Another time, I lost a bunny (children at a party didn't latch the hutch correctly) two days later neighbors caught the bunny under their bushes, incurring scratches,  and protected the heart of my little one who would have been devastated.  I have also run across the street (yes barefoot) to ask for cumin when I ran out (taco meat wouldn't have been the same! crisis averted), I have made and shared goodies, and felt safer for the kids and I because I have the numbers of those close by who watch my house.  I feel the loss, I feel the loss for my kids. I'm struggling with what to do, food or a card or flowers.  I'm left wishing I had visited more, had been more grateful.  Isn't that how it often is? We don't appreciate things until they are gone? We don't realize the value, the effect on our lives until it's too late except in memories.

All we can do is move forward and learn from the past, that's my choice.
 I'm having the kids run a thank you card across the street because as this post was coming to be some neighbors took in all my recycling  for me (this is kinda too soon for me to express properly but this job was too much for me to handle with no truck or help, I cried after she brought me the cash and I saw the area devoid of bottles and cans.)
So more silly handmade cards that express my gratitude, I'm involving my kids in the delivery or signing or art.  I am waving to the dog walkers and those two ladies who walk my street every morning as I leave for work (by the way, way to go! you gals haven't missed a day.) I am choosing to be more neighborly, to appreciate these geographical friends, to connect with them more. How else can we connect with those around us?
-Lo

You are such a giving person too Lo. I know you have brought your famous Tomato Bisque over to neighbors. Maybe its a time to introduce yourself to the ones you don't know. Never know what great relationships can lye ahead. I am sorry to hear about your neighbor that is never easy. I say bring food. People tend to forget to eat....and you are an amazing cook. Love, Ro